The same old song and dance

The Chicago Tribune reports today that Mark Prior left yesterday's extended spring training game after only two innings, due to more injury problems. You can go ahead and read the story if you want, but I think we all know how it goes by now.

By now Chicago papers must have developed a generic injury story that allows them to just circle the right information....

Cubs pitcher [circle one: Mark Prior/Kerry Wood] left yesterday's game after only [one/two/zero] innings due to [shoulder/arm/vaginal] problems.

Jim Hendry confirmed the injury but declined to comment any further until he had more details.

The Cubs said [orthopedic/gynecology] specialist [pick random name from phone book] will examine the injury within the next couple days.

The pitcher was on the disabled list [twice/three times/all season/don't ask] last year, and had previously hoped to return to the starting rotation sometime this [week/season/decade].

The Cubs have given no timetable for his return, but remain optimistic.

Cubs manager [Lou Piniella/Fozzy Bear/Dirk Diggler] could not be reached for comment and was last seen angrily chewing off his arm.

They canceled today's game for Lou

Lou Piniella apparently doesn't think his team can perform in cold weather. Said Lou:

"The way we're put together as a team, if we play in 40 degrees all year, I
don't think we're going to do very well because we don't have that type of team.
We have more power in our lineup.

We need to bang it a little more, and once the weather warms up we
will. We have more of a fly-ball-hitting team and we don't have as much team
speed to play the little ball that you need in this environment. For us, the
quicker the weather warms up, the better."

Has Piniella ever been to Chicago in October? If they can even get their act together to make the playoffs, how the hell are they going to perform on a cold October night?

The Cubs have canceled today's game, but I bet Houston's a little pissed. That domed southern team really hasn't had any issues playing in the current "environment" at Wrigley the past few days. I guess they're just "that type of team."

Ya know, the type that goes out and wins games without making excuses.

Weekend notes from the road (Part 1)

The BSbar team was live on the scene at Miller Park in Milwaukee this past Saturday to visit the annual migration of Cub fans to their northern habitat. The Cubs won that one 6-3 and took 2 of 3 from the Brew Crew. Amongst the cold beers and colder tailgating temperatures, someone managed to take a few notes. He was then hit in the head with an overcooked bratwurst.

• You have to see Milwaukee's Prince Fielder in person to really understand how big this guy is. And I'm not talking about big like McGwire and Sosa circa '98, I'm talking big as in he could do without dessert for maybe the next 10-15 years. He'll eventually outgrow the largest jerseys the Brewers have and be traded to Detroit so he can wear his Dad's old ones. Wait, what am I saying!? It's Milwaukee - they make enough plus-size jerseys for their fans that there shouldn't be a problem getting Fielder one.
• Carlos Zambrano's antics are even more annoying in person. Honestly, I was rooting for the Cubs but every time Z pumped his fist after getting someone out I just wanted to knock some of his teeth out. It won't be long before every team in the Central is throwing at him at least once a game.
• Bernie the Brewer is still one of the better mascot/attractions at a game. I still prefer him sliding into the mug of beer though.
• The Sausage Race has officially taken on a life of its own, staking its claim as the greatest current sports side-attraction. They even show footage of the different meats "warming up" an inning before the race. I'm willing to bet more money changed hands after that race than after the actual game. They might as well go all out and post odds and have the beer vendors to take bets.
• For the record, the Polish Sausage won running away.

Is Wrigley Field a dump?

• The Tribune's own Rick Morrissey calls Wrigley Field a dump this morning. He actually did this once before in 2004, when the field was suffering from "falling concrete" syndrome. He really makes some good points - the Wrigleyville neighborhood is what makes the field special. Well, maybe that and the scoreboard.
• Chris De Luca does some real in-depth research and determines that Ozzie Guillen is not on the hot seat. Um... duh!
• Richard Roeper, also from the Sun-Times, weighs in to let everyone know that the Cubs are a very successful business. Yes, when a sports team focuses on the bottom line and couldn't care less about winning, they can make money.
• The Daily Herald and Scot Gregor found some positives in Monday's Sox loss, namely Ozuna and Erstad. I'm not going to get excited about the strong performances by the bench players, because you can't get too excited about anything in a blow out loss.

The start of a bizarre season indeed

The Chicago Tribune's Phil Rogers makes a few interesting points regarding the beginning of what should be quite an interesting season for the White Sox.

I know it's only one game, and I actually feel somewhat stupid for analyzing it at all, but if the pitching staff doesn't get it together this year, expect quite a bit of column inches devoted to questioning GM Kenny Williams and his direction.

And these won't be innocent hints, like in the Rogers piece. These will be more along the lines of "hit you over the head repeatedly until you won't want to work in this city anymore."

Meanwhile, on the other side of the town, Sun-Times' Chris De Luca allows Cubs manager Lou Piniella to all but excuse his team's horrendous game due to the circumstances stemming from the Tribune Co. announcement.

If I was ever allowed to run a baseball team, you can guarantee I wouldn't provide any excuses for my team of professionals. And if, God forbid, I ever get a press pass, you can be sure that I wouldn't let comments like that slide from a manger as high regarded as Piniella.

The Cubs are being sold

The Tribune Co. announced that it has accepted a very large buyout offer, and that the Cubs will be sold following the 2007 season.

Overall this is a good thing for Cubs fans, as they may actually end up with an owner that will put winning ahead of the bottom line. And all that money the Cubs spent on high-priced free agents? Well it will do nothing short of increase the value of the team.

Is Tribune Co. showing its true colors once again? Perhaps the whole "we want to win right now" campaign was nothing more than a ploy to raise the value of the team before they sold it.

I guess it was all just another line that Cubs fans were happy to swallow, hook and all.

Game Time

Well, here we go - Opening Day. Stay right here during today's games for live updates from the guy sitting on the couch flipping the channels.

12:55 - Well, I have to give some credit to the Reds' field announcer, as he's getting really psyched about his future 4th place team.

The Sox are on commercial meanwhile.

1:06 - Sox game is about to start. I'd send you the starting lineups, but that's too much work. You're in the internet, look it up yourself.

1:07 - Home Run on the second pitch by Sizemore. Nicely done Contreras.

1-0 Indians.

1:11 - Contreras has given up 3 hits in a row now, all hard line drives. I think he's in some trouble right now. Might be time to switch over to the Cubbies.

1:15 - 2-0 Indians on the 4th hit in a row. I'd switch over to the other game but i don't wanna miss anything spectacular like a grand slam or something.

1:17 - First out of the season for the Sox!! Yay!

And so it's only 5 batter into the game and we're already talking about something other than baseball. I'm going to look up why they call it a pickle.

1:20 - Meanwhile the Cubs go quietly in the 1st. D Lee tried to steal a base... always a good idea.

Switching back to the Sox, and another run scores on a base hit to right. The bullpen should be getting up in about 5 min. I don't think that's a good sign for your club, when your opening day starter struggles to get out of the first inning.

1:23 - a double to right-center scores another 2, and it's 5-0 Indians in the first inning.

1:26 - Contreras gets the final out, and we switch games just in time for Adam Dunn to jack a 2 run homer. 2-0 Reds. Zambrano is dancing around all pissed on the mound, acting like he cares.

1:30 - A message from my Cubs fan buddy: "Is it possible to be depressed 2 innings into the season?"

1:33 - Darin Erstad takes a mighty cut in his first AB with the Sox and slams a 2 run HR. There's life for the Sox yet. This has all the makings of a 14-13 barnburner today...

1:37 - After 1 full inning, the city of Chicago is down 7-2. Way to be fellas.

1:43 - After a couple more hits, Ozzie makes his first trip to the mound for the season. He's not too happy about it either.

1:46 - 2 runs score on an errant throw by Uribe, and Ozzie is back, taking Contreras out of the game... we'll have his final line for you in a few minutes, after NASA calculates his ERA for us.

1:48 - Nick Masset comes into the game, making his debut with a firm "go get 'em" from DJ in the booth. Kind of embarassing that the cheerleader announcers have to make an appearance in the 2nd inning of the FIRST GAME OF THE SEASON! My buddy was on to something. I'm depressed and the second inning isn't even over yet!

1:53 - 9-2 Indians, not sure what happened (i was on teh Cubs game). But there are definitely some high-fiving going on around home plate for the Indians. I'm gonna go throw up, be back in a few minutes.

1:54 - Hawk sums it up "After an inning and a half, not good."

1:57 - Doesn't look a whole lot better for the North Siders... Adam Dunn hits his second HR of the game. 3-0 Cinci.

2:05 - There's a real NASA astronaut in the booth with Hawk and DJ, and I think DJ is hitting on her. Yup, he's definitely working on her. And now Hawk said something creepy about watching her while she was talking. And DJ said he had the feeling he was with a special person. This is so creepy and awkward. Gotta love blowouts in baseball.

2:14 - 11-2 Indians. I don't even want to watch this anymore. Too bad the Cubs game is boring as hell. Still 3-0 in the 4th inning now. I'm waiting for Zambrano to do something exciting. Or at least hit someone in the head and start a brawl. Either would work right now.

2:35 - And the Cubs are on the board following a Murton check swing half bunt didn't mean to do that single and a Derrik Lee single followed by "the baseball equivalent of a no-look pass" from Freel in center that ended up in the third row of the stands. 3-1 in the 5th.

2:50 - Took a few minutes off to read the Sports Guy's column from Friday. Nothing too exciting, yes, we all were pumped for this weekend's sporting events, although I'm leaving teh weekend somewhat unfulfilled.

Meanwhile, Zambrano walked in a run, and allowed another to score on a sac fly. I'm not sure if he's still pitching.

And I'm afraid to switch back to the Sox game.

2:54 - WGN is showing footage from the break of Zambrano yelling and screaming in the dugout. He better be pissed at himself, because he's walked 5 guys in 5 innings and has no right to be yelling at anyone right now. In fact, if I was Lou, I'd just walk over and kick him in the balls right about now.

3:08 - Sox threaten with bases loaded and 1 out, but fail to score. Just not their day today. Still 11-3 Indians. Konerko hit a dinger earlier in the game. I think we missed it while I was throwing up from Contreras' outing.

3:23 - They made a sequal to "Are We There Yet??!?!" Really? I better get my screenplay together, because apparently Hollywood has officially run out of movies to make.

3:26 - Score update: Chicago 4, Other Guys 16.

3:35 - Josh Hamilton is coming into the game to hit for Cinci. Great story with this guy. Let's hope he's got his shit together now, and can finally concentrate on his game. GL to him.

3:46 - Cubs game's over, 5-1 victory for the Reds. Thank God that's over.

4:00 - Sox game's over. Don't even worry about the final score.

All in all, a real crappy opening day for Chicago. Let's hope this is not a sign of things to come. If I was a starting pitcher in the minors for either of these clubs, I would be pretty excited right now.

It's finally here...

Opening day is finally upon us. The White Sox open up at home against Cleveland, a fashionable pick to take the central this year, first pitch at 1:05. The Cubs are in Cincinnati, with game time set for 1:10.

Because we're so awesome, we'll be doing live updates from both games, posting right here on the Bullpen Sports Bar.

Additionally, expect full posts in the near future regarding our predictions this year for both Chicago teams.

Stay tuned...

Banished to Riding Buses

Despite proclaiming to the sporting world days ago that he was fit and ready for action with the Cubs, the team has declared that recovering DL-addict Mark Prior will start the season in Triple A.

The fact remains that Prior will make more than $3.5 million this year, regardless of where he throws those 85mph fastballs of his. Let's see if he pulls a Michael Jordan and uses his cash to trick out the team bus.

While we're on the subject, I would like to offer myself up as an assistant to the Cubs this season. The position - Associate Director of Television. The club could pay me to lay on my couch all day drinking beer and other assorted cocktails and just watch TV. All I'd ask for is $1 million, which is less than 1/3 of what Prior is making to be just as useless to the club.

With Prior's demotion, Wade Miller has all but claimed the 5th and final spot in the starting rotation. Don't bother looking for his major league stats from last season - he didn't play.

Speaking of good decisions, Kerry Wood will start this season on the DL. Stop me if you've heard this one before...

It's been 20 days since our last confession

So much has been going on in our collective lives that its been hard to keep this poor attempt at a blog rolling.

But it's spring training and no one cares about spring training. So forgive us.

But here's what we've missed in the world of Chicago baseball:

• Cubs have officially announced that someone who has never played centerfield before will be starting there this year. Which is great because no one ever hits fly balls in Wrigley.
• The Sox have some pitching issues: No one has stepped up to take the 5th starter spot. Not sure if I wrote this before, but I knew as soon as the Garcia and McCarthy trades happened that they'd have trouble finding a 5th starter. Supposedly the talent is there with Danks, Floyd and Haeger, but apparently no one wants it.
• The Sox have some pitching issues II: Closer Bobby I was paid for the McDonalds commercial in cheeseburgers Jenks has been getting roughed up. Worst part is his velocity is down to the low 90's. Let's be honest, he can't throw a breaking ball for a strike, so if he's not throwing 97+ he'll be useless to the Sox. Fantasy players could be picking up MacDougal by the second week of the season.
• Ozzie hasn't announced a starting centerfielder yet, only noting that Erstad has been the best so far. Word from the Chicago Tribune today has Brian Anderson fighting for a spot on the Big League roster. It would really suck to be him right now, going from the heir apparent to fighting for the last spot on the team.

I know we're probably missing a few items, but we'll get to them as we get closer to Opening Day

Cubs start off early

Seven unearned runs in a 9-2 loss to the giants yesterday. Wow.

On the bright side, if the Cubs keep this up, fans won't have to worry about choking as the summer wears on. They could be mathematically eliminated by the end of the spring season.

In other news, Lou Piniella was seen last night rocking back and forth in a corner of HoHoKam's locker room, head in hands, moaning "Why... why?"

A new year for the faithful

The Cubs begin their spring training season today against the San Francisco Giants and their newly overpaid ace, Barry Zito. A few thoughts as we begin another year for the most tortured fanbase in baseball:

• Pinella's staff - The revamped starting rotation headlined by Jason Marquis (starting today's game) and Ted Lilly. Did the Cubs overpay for 2 of the worst pitchers in baseball last year, or is he a genius?
• Center field: Can Soriano handle playing center field. Yes, he led the league in outfield assists, but was that because he could not get to fly balls that average outfielders could, or because his speed allowed him to get to more balls than an average fielder?
• Health - Bottom line, if this lineup stays healthy, it's one of the best in the National League. But given the overall track record, that's a big IF

Update: The Cubs are currently down 1-0 in the 3rd inning. But again, we're talking spring training, and as we've discussed, I'm the only person dumb enough to write about it.